Thursday, January 05, 2006

Get over it!!

I drew this picture in a journal many, many years ago. Since it's how I'm feeling today, I thought I'd throw it out there. My kids are driving me absolutely looney! My son is perfectly fine when someone else is around besides me and when he's watching his Baby Einstein videos. Otherwise he's a crying mess. I don't think I've mentioned before that my two year old son has been diagnosed with "educational autism". Since it was done through the school district, they couldn't give him a medical diagnosis and I feel like he's too young to have that testing done. Anyway, he's now seeing a speech teacher, autism specialist and other special ed. teachers. He attends a toddler class and gets home visits every week to help. These services all started about three months ago. He has been progressing, except that he is transforming into a boy that I'm not sure that I know (or always like). It's probably all part of the process, but he is going through some crazy emotions and behaviors lately. I know I just need to be patient.

Before a few months ago he had no way of communicating that he wanted something. He is now grabbing my hand and pulling me around, which is a great step. However, he doesn't point or use any words to tell me what he wants. So he completely freaks out and whines...all the time. His tantrums have gotten very intense. Of course when my parents come over to visit or take care of him he's just great. At least that gives them a positive experience and they'll take him more often. Today, for instance, he woke up from nap and when we went downstairs he started completely going nuts. I had absolutely no idea why. Nothing would console him, so I threw him in front of a video. There he stands with a big smile on his face, just fine. Ahhhhhh!!!!

I hesitate to be this personal on my blog, but sometimes a girl has got to vent! Maybe some of you have been there and have gotten through it. Please tell me I will too:) Ok, I know I will!! My artsy craftsy projects are an outlet for all of this pent up emotion. I'm working on my theme for the year for Swirly Girls 52 Figments project. I think it's going to be let go! ....or maybe it should be GET OVER IT as Ali said on her blog today! She says she "likes reminders....things that tell me to chill out, that everything is going to be fine, essentially to get over whatever it is that I am stessing or fretting about at the moment." Thanks so much for that:)

7 comments:

la vie en rose said...

as i was reading about your son i was wondering if you'd found your way to ali's blog. i see that you have.

Ali said...

I can totally emphasize with this - next time your specialist comes for a home visit chat with her/him about ways to help diffuse and figure out what it is that he wants :). It is SO good that he is attempting to communicate - celebrate that and take a deep breath :).

Chris said...

I can't offer any words of wisdom, but would a *hug* help?

elizabeth said...

i wish i had some helpful advise for you but unfortunately i don't.

but will a big ((((hug)))) help???

:)

gkgirl said...

i provide childcare within my home and have been doing so for about three years. i have had one little boy with me since i opened and he was just diagnosed at three as having high functional autism. his mom is a single mom and up until this point we had no idea what the trouble was, but we knew there was something. we are just beginning to do early intervention with him. i so feel for you, i know it can be so hard to not know what it is that they want or what they are trying to express...

and ali is right, ask your specialist...they may have some advice or tips on what may work...
you never know...

i wish i could help more than that

Sue said...

Hugs! From a Mom to a wonderful autistic child. My Ryan is 15 years old now and I understand your frustration as I have been where you are. As Mom's we want to fix everything! The behaviors you describe are hard to deal with, but it can be done. Feel free to email me if you need to vent or want to talk.

Knitting Painter Woman said...

The only thing I can say, is that even with children who have NO diagnoses, you don't always like who they are! (And not just at 2 years, sometimes at 2 decades)... but you love 'em and do the best you can. I think the magic ingredient is BALANCE! See you on the AW